1803195. St Joseph, Spouse of Mary. Ite ad Joseph! Go to Joseph. ST JOSEPH, HUSBAND OF MARY.

Monday, 19th MARCH
St Joseph, Spouse of Mary

Ite ad Joseph! Go to Joseph.

Luke 2:41-51

After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions...and his mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been looking for you anxiously." 

And he said to them, "How is it that you sought me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?" 

And they did not understand the saying which he spoke to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them.

The most wonderful Treasures of God (Jesus and Mary) could not be entrusted to anyone other than St Joseph. No one, ever, has been trusted more and so, no one ever has been given more. 

St Joseph is compared to the other Patriarch, Joseph, the son of Jacob. Sold by his brothers, he ended up a slave in Egypt. But God was with him and eventually he was entrusted with all of Pharaoh's fortune. So when the famine came and people started asking Pharaoh for help, he just told them: 

Ite ad Joseph! (Go to Joseph!)

If you want to find Jesus, go to Joseph – he found Him after three sorrowful days; 

if you want to love Jesus, go to Joseph – he loves Him madly;

 if you want to love Mary, go to Joseph – no man has ever loved his wife like him; 

if you want to be always close to Jesus and Mary, go to Joseph – no one has ever been closer to them; 

if you want to pray, go to Joseph – he spent his life in dialogue with God; 

if you go through difficulties, go to Joseph – he knows all about suffering.

 If you want to be strong, he is the saint to go to; 

if you want to be obedient, chaste, generous, humble, joyful, sincere... 

if you want to be holy: Ite ad Joseph! Go to Joseph.

If you want to be in love with God, to work with God, to live with God, to stay always with God, to dream God's dreams, to serve God and spend your eternity with Him... Ite ad Joseph!... Go to Joseph. God entrusted him with His Family, he is in charge of the house of God; he will open for us the door of Bethlehem, of Nazareth and of Heaven if we go to him. He protected God and His Immaculate Mother... he can protect you as well if you want.

Holy Mary, Spouse of Joseph, remind me to go to him, for it would be foolish of me not to count on him in my struggle
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19 MARCH, 2018, Monday, St Joseph, Spouse of the B.V.M.

ST JOSEPH, HUSBAND OF MARY

SCRIPTURE READINGS: [2 SAM 7:4-5. 12-14. 16; PS 89:2-5,27,29; ROM 4:13. 16-18. 22; MATT 1:16. 18-21. 24 or LUKE 2:41-51  ]

Today as we celebrate the Solemnity of St Joseph, the husband of Mary, we are invited to reflect on how men can be good husbands to their wives.  This indeed is a timely reflection because the roles of husband and wife have changed and evolved over the years.  

In the past, husbands were the breadwinner of the family and wives stayed at home to be homemaker.  Boys were generally given higher education whereas girls, unless they came from rich and educated families, were given only basic education.  The thinking was that the woman's place was at home with the children, looking after the family, whilst the husband must go out and eke out a living for the family.  He was seen as the financial supplier and often a strict discipline master.  Under the patriarchal system, the father was the head of the family and all had to obey him and submit to his decisions.

In today's world, especially in modern society, most men and women have the same education and compete equally academically.  Many women are very bright, intelligent and do well in their studies.  Many are doing well in their businesses, careers and professional life.  Some are leaders in government and in the corporate world.   Many are highly qualified and more successful than their husbands.  They are great leaders in society and earn much more money than their spouse.  They do not spend as much time at home because of their career and commitments.   This change in the roles of husband and wife must be taken into account when reflecting on how husbands are called to support their wives.

The patriarchal model of the husband as the head of the family and accorded total obedience must be contextualized.  In the uncomfortable message of St Paul's letter to the Ephesians, he wrote, "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands."  (Eph 5:22-24)   This passage is true within the conditions that presuppose how wives are to be subjected to the husbands.   Without the prevailing conditions, this exhortation will lead to dictatorship, authoritarianism and the consequent abuses of authority.   We must be careful that we do not take the advice of St Paul out of context.

St Paul was making the comparison between the husband's role and that of Christ.  The demands on the husband is great if he wishes his wife to obey him or submit to him in obedience.  He must first be like Christ who is the head of the Church.  Christ commands our obedience only because He has earned it by His life, death and resurrection.  How Christ acts for the Church is the way husbands must act for their wives.  In other words, obedience to the husband who is the head of the household is credible only if the conditions permit it.

Firstly, a good husband is one who loves his wife.  St Paul said, "Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,  because we are members of his body.  For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."  (Eph 5:28-31)  That was how St Joseph loved Mary.  He loved her so much that loving himself meant that he put Mary's welfare and security before his own.  When Joseph was told that she was pregnant, Joseph's reaction was not one of vindictiveness or revenge.  Instead of exposing her, shaming her and even having her stoned to death, Joseph, "being a man of honour and wanting to spare her publicity, decided to divorce her informally."  Joseph cared for her more than he cared for his own interests, dignity and honour.

Secondly, a good husband's greatest gift to his wife is the gift of himself.  This is what St Paul wrote,  "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."  (Eph 5:25-27)  If husbands want their wives to obey them, they must first learnt to obey their wives!  Husbands are called to make themselves a living sacrifice for their wives and give their lives entirely for the good of their wives more than for themselves.  Wives are not called to serve the husbands as if they are kings in the house; rather, husbands are called to be sacrificial servants to their wives.  If the husband's intent is on doing what is best for his wife, there is no reason why any wife would not want to submit to him, since he desires what is truly good and holy for his wife.  It is in the wife's interest to go along with the husband because he puts her needs, preferences and happiness before his.

Again, this was the case of St Joseph.  He put the interests of Mary before his own.  For Joseph, it was more important that Mary fulfilled her vocation to be the mother of our Lord.  He was happy to take second place and simply be the foster father.  He was not envious of Mary being given the great honour to be the mother of Christ.  For the sake of Mary's vocation, he remained a celibate and without having a child of his own.  But if that was what it took to support Mary in her vocation, Joseph was willing to put aside his own needs and aspirations.  "He had made up his mind to do this when the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream … he did what the angel of the Lord had told him to do."  So too, many husbands today are ready to become homemakers or take a less prominent role in public life and allow their wives to excel, whether in politics or in the corporate world.  They do not vie with their wives for fame and popularity.  In fact, they are happy for them and willing to play the second fiddle.  This is a great sacrifice indeed, considering that most men are egoistic and seek attention and glory.  In any case, husbands must see their wives as equal partners in the relationship and in the raising of the family, respect their intelligence and unique gifts, acknowledging them as equals.  This is concretely what it means for husbands and wives to lay down their lives for each other as Christ sacrificed His life for His Church.

Thirdly, a good husband is faithful.  He protects the marriage from enemies within and without, at home with in-laws and without with tempters.  Joseph was not judgmental when he heard that Mary was pregnant with child.  He could have walked away from the marriage.  Although he could not understand how it was possible, he continued to trust in Mary.   He was faithful to Mary even when doubts were raised because of her pregnancy.  But Joseph, being a just man, would not condemn anyone until proven beyond doubt.  He believed in Mary's story.  That is what a faithful husband must do.  He must allow his wife to share with him her sorrows, her pains, her anxiety and her fears.  She needs a confidante whom she can share openly without reservation, knowing that she would not be judged, condemned or rejected.  She needs a husband who is supportive, encouraging and affirming.

Finally, a good husband must be a leader in example, especially in faith and virtues.  If a husband is to be the head of the household then he too must follow Christ who led by example.  He must be a man of faith like Joseph who trusted in God and in His divine providence.  Indeed, Joseph is that man of faith that St Paul spoke about when he portrayed Abraham as a man of faith.  Joseph too trusted in God completely, even when he could not understand.  His faith was expressed concretely in action.  He did what the angel told him to do.   He was an obedient man like Abraham who was obedient to God even though it seemed his "hope could not be fulfilled, he hoped and he believed, and through doing what he did became the father of many nations exactly as he had been promised". 

This is why the Church venerates St Joseph as the Patron for the Universal Church. Indeed, no better husband can any wife find than in a husband who is a god-fearing man, who obeys His word and seeks to live out the gospel truths and values.

All these would not have been possible if not for the fact that Joseph was a praying person and a contemplative. Joseph was a man of silent contemplation.  He is not heard at all in the gospel.  However, he was one who listened deeply and attentively to the Word of God, which often came to him in his dreams and in his ordinary life during the day.  Even as he worked, we can be sure that the presence of God was around him all day.   Only because he heard the voice of God, was he able to act calmly and righteously in difficult moments, walking by faith, not by sight, trusting in His divine providence.   We look therefore to St Joseph for a model of how we can be good and loving husbands to our wives.

Written by The Most Rev William Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All Rights Reserved